Welcoming Discomfort

by Simon Goland, June 26, 2013

There is a deep dark hole, marking a beginning of a possible tunnel with no end in sight. Perhaps of the “deep into the rabbit hole” kind. Maybe it is like a black hole, luring and calling and inviting the one who peeks in, to come closer and dive in. It evokes a mix of fear and strange appeal, both pulling and repelling at the same time.

A boy, age five or six, is nearby. He knows this dark hole, because it has been around for a very long time. Even when the boy is an adult, he is also still a boy, and the hole is not too far behind. Time is not linear here. The hole is also not tangible, yet it exists, in time present, past, and future.

Because of the danger that is hiding at the bottom of that hole, or perhaps when one dives and emerges on the other end of it, it is being guarded. Heavily. Even though nobody has ever gone through it, so we actually don’t know whether there is any danger there at all, it is guarded just in case. “There is Fear, and Pain, and More Pain, and then More Fear,” whisper the voices. “It is dangerous there. Stay Away.”

The one who protects that hole appears to be invincible. The Kommander, they call him. He is a veteran of many battles, since the beginning of his time. Witty, tricky, loyal, creative, and committed to protecting the boy from further pain. He will do anything to prevent the boy from even coming close to that dangerous, dark, scary hole, not to mention diving in.

“Stay here,” he will whisper. “It is comfortable and safe here. It has always been like that. Why bother with that discomfort, which arises when you just start peeking into that hole.” If whispers don’t help, he will create a different distraction. Diversion. Urgency to do something. Anything. Even throw in an element of fear, only to appear moments later as the one dispersing it. “See,” he will say, “No more fear. Back to comfort. All is well now.”

Again and again and again he will stay guard, performing the only duty he knows how to do. Nothing else exists.

Yet, there is a knowing, that when one dives into that rabbit hole, he will find the Truth on the other end. Not logical. Not written or told. Not heard anywhere else. Knowings are like that. They show up from nowhere and deliver their obtuse message.

Despite everything, the boy knows that the way to Light and to Truth is through the discomfort of disintegration into the darkness. Deep into the rabbit hole.